Community

There have been a lot of good things this blog has done for me.  I've been able to write my thoughts and organize my thinking a little.  I've been able to focus on an aspect of myself that has had little time to grow or develop in a healthy way.  But one thing it hasn't been able to do is give me a sense of connection, a sense of belonging to a community.

This probably stems from my inability to feel community entirely from an online source.  Almost all of my facebook friends (with just a handful of exceptions) are extensions of physical acquaintances.  Virtual reality doesn't feel quite like reality to me.  And I really have never met someone face-to-face who I knew to be an active Mormon with a gay orientation.  I know a few out there in cyberspace.  I think I likely have some friends whose orientations are kept secret.  I suspect people would be surprised if they knew my orientation.  But I'm not comfortable telling people about it.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm lonely drifter without a community.  I'm a very social outgoing person and belong to many communities.  I just don't have a community where my orientation is factored in.  I find myself in an interesting position.  So much of what we value is tied up in community.  As time goes on and attitudes change, we'll have to see where this goes.