I recall hearing an interview with a paraplegic individual who was asked if they would like to turn back time and prevent the issue that caused their disability. Their response was that while they would love to be healed, if the cost was to forget all the lessons they learned, it wouldn't be worth it. The person they became was deeply intertwined with their experiences in overcoming their challenges, and they wouldn't want to lose who they became.
I feel similar in many ways. The person I am has been greatly influenced by my experiences and overcoming my challenges and hardships. I love my amazing wife and my wonderful children and I wouldn't want to give them up, or lose the lessons I learned along the way. But taking the paraplegic analogy a little further, I never lost the use of my legs -- rather I was not allowed to use them. I was required to either to live life in a wheelchair and let my legs atrophy despite their being perfectly healthy, or to leave my community -- alienate myself from my friends and family. I think that's an apt description of what it feels like being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, yet having a gay orientation.
