My father, all his brothers, all their sons, their sister's sons, and several daughters have gone on full time missions for the church. The youngest of all my male cousins recently got his call, so that's 100 percent of the boys. I'm not telling you this to brag, but so you can understand a little about my family. Now imagine growing up in this family, knowing that you're attracted to guys instead of girls. I had always been taught that I would be serving a mission. I usually just accepted the fact, but in the back of my mind I wondered if I would really be able to serve. What if someone found out about me? My father had a friend from his mission who eventually left his wife and family to follow his homosexual attractions, so I knew that there were missionaries who were gay, but this guy wasn't exactly the role model I wanted to follow.
I figured I'd just keep on doing what seemed right. I attended seminary, and memorized the scripture mastery verses. I studied the gospel and learned an awful lot. But the most important thing for preparing for my mission was the development of my testimony. That's where my gay orientation ended up being the most helpful. It was my worry about my homosexual desires that brought me to my knees in prayer, long before I ever attended seminary. I learned clearly and distinctly through the spirit that my Father in Heaven had a love for me that I couldn't comprehend, that overwhelmed me.
After that experience, as I encountered questions about the gospel and the church, I was able to come to very solid conclusions that solidified my faith, even at a very young age. I knew I could always pray and count on getting answers to many questions. I didn't really recognize how important my orientation was in my development. My attractions and desires still scared me. But in retrospect, I find that I was blessed with great knowledge and faith at a very young age which served me well in preparing to go on my mission.
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