Ding-dong, the bells are gonna chime!
I'm a guy, married to an incredible girl. I am so amazingly happy in my marriage. We have a number of children and our family is generally healthy and happy. We're not without our flaws and struggles, but overall, life is good. This may seem more remarkable due to the fact that my orientation is gay, but I don't think it's really all that remarkable at all. I think of it as rather normal.
There are a couple of things that helped us start off our marriage well and set the stage for success. First and foremost, the reason I asked my wife to marry me was that I was in love with her. I wanted to spend eternity with her. I wasn't trying to "cure" my homosexuality, or hide out in a heterosexual marriage or anything like that. If you asked anyone who knew me at the time, they would agree that I was deeply, distractingly in love. I had all the signs. I didn't have a crush on my wife like I sometimes got for guys, but I did find her attractive (it's the only time that ever happened with a girl). She and I connected on so many levels, (intellectually, socially, spiritually, emotionally, etc), that it was easy to develop intimacy early in our marriage.
The other important thing was that there was honesty. She knew that I was attracted to guys. I had come out to her, so she had the relevant information to enter our marriage with open eyes. I understand that some people don't fully realize their gay orientation until later in life, but I knew from very early on, and I was not going to enter a marriage with a wife who didn't know the orientation of her husband. That would be wholly unfair of me.
Statistically speaking, I'm basing my opinion on a worthless sample of size one. Still I feel confident in suggesting that if someone with a homosexual orientation is considering marriage to someone of the opposite gender, a successful marriage is much easier to achieve if (1) you are getting married for the right reasons, and (2) you are honest with your partner about your orientation.
Thank you for adding your voice. It's needed. The more positive voices that are out there, the more strength we give to those who are questioning and struggling. So thank you for adding yours.
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