Cause or Effect

I've got a theory.  It seems like a surprisingly high percentage of the gay-oriented Mormons who gather in these online communities have suffered bouts of depression -- the clinically diagnosable kind.  Many have been abused at some time in their past, or at least been bullied at school.  A lot of people look at these facts and conclude that there is a causative relationship -- the idea that the bullying or the abuse or depression causes the gay orientation.  That would mean if we could somehow keep our kids from these dangers they wouldn't be gay.  But I defy that logic.  I was not that kid.  I wasn't the kid with a distant dad or the abusive neighbor, but somehow I ended up gay, anyway.  So here's my counter-argument.



I suspect that those gay Mormons who don't have depression or a history of abuse or the rest are better at hiding their orientation (maybe even from themselves).  Someone with a tendency for depression is going to have a tougher time with a gay orientation, just like they'll have a tougher time with relationships and other such things.  Also, those who have talked to professional counselors or dealt with psychological health are going to feel more empowered to reach out to others to deal with emotional reactions dealing with their attractions.  They will feel more ready to join a community like the gay-Mormon community.  So what we see in this community is a higher percentage of people with tendencies for depression or anxiety, people who experienced childhood abuse, bullying at school, or strained (or non-existent) paternal relationships.

What would this mean if it were true?  Well, first off, it would mean that these patterns we see are not due to cause and effect.  The fact that many gay Mormons suffer from depression could be due to biased sampling, not some sort of causal relationship.  It refutes the idea of a gay orientation being caused by some behavior or experience.  Being gay is not something that can simply be prevented.  Also it would tend to make any risk factor for those who suffer depression appear abnormally high among the gay LDS community.  Divorces, suicides, and other problems that tend to be more common among those who suffer depression will seem higher among the gay Mormon community, because those who suffer from depression are more likely to be polled.

Please don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying that divorce, suicide, and other such things are good.  But in order to help prevent them, we need to know where to focus our efforts.  If we can confirm that the predilection for depression among gay LDS members is due to sampling bias, then we can better focus our efforts on seeking and rectifying the actual causes of the problems.

But there's the rub.  How could we confirm this idea?  We would need to find a good sample of members of the Church with homosexual orientations.  But consider me as an example.  I have never reached out to others for support in dealing with my orientation.  I told the girl I eventually married, and as my wife, she gives me great emotional support in general.  But I don't tend to bring up my orientation often.  Remember that coming out to someone and seeking help and support aren't always the same thing.  I suspect that there are loads of gay LDS members who don't seek support because they can get by without it.  We Mormons tend to be rather independent to a fault.  I think it would be great to have some support from friends and leaders, but since I can manage somewhat on my own, I keep it to myself.  Remember how I don't have tendencies for depression?  This is where it comes in.  While I could probably use support and it might make my life better, not having it doesn't get me down or make me depressed.

People like me don't tend to be a part of the samples when researchers study gay Mormons.  In order to get the real numbers, we would need some way of opening up the discussion to all members, not just those who are currently part of the Mo-Ho community.  If everyone felt safe to talk about such things, perhaps even in anonymous surveys, we could get somewhere.  But I'm not sure we are there, yet.  So I'm afraid my idea will remain just an untested hypothesis with no data supporting it but my own experience.  A sample size of one will convince nobody.