Error in Translation

Many years ago on my mission, I often heard the following, usually attributed to some general authority or other: "If you don't look once, you're not a man.  If you look twice, you're not a missionary."  However, I have yet to figure out which supposed general authority said it, so this is more Mormon Rumor than Mormon Doctrine.  Still, I understand what people are trying to say.  And what they were trying to say had to do with girls.  Since I didn't ever look once, I guess I wasn't a man.  But that's not right either, because those who spoke it were working with the tacit assumption that every young man looks once as the basis for a different message.  As I was not forthcoming about my orientation, I can hardly fault them for that assumption.
I think it's rather obvious that the point they were trying to make was that temptation happens.  Only when we dwell on and encourage the temptation can it be a problem.

A young missionary, like I was, whose orientation was gay could easily focus on the tacit assumptions and nitpick about how wrong they can be.  We can focus on the implied bigotry of the statement or claim we are not its intended audience, and so justify rejecting its message.  But I think that's the wrong way to look at it.  It's like an error in translation.  I admit that it is tempting to self-righteously disdain the message or messenger, but it would be better to try to liken the message to myself.  In fact, the meaning, once translated correctly, is that it is not wrong to have temptations.  They are not sin.  They do not make someone unworthy.  That's an important message, especially to a young closeted gay Mormon who often worries that his inclinations somehow make him soiled and sinful.  However, if you think about it, Christ himself was tempted, and understands what it's like (see Hebrews 2:18).  We certainly would be hard pressed to call Him unworthy.

We can show charity towards our brethren in the Priesthood by translating their often well-intentioned but unfortunately phrased messages into terms that are relevant to us and appreciating their care rather than smoldering about their ignorance.  It makes life as a gay Mormon a lot more pleasant to live.