Blessings

As I was talking with my wife, recently, we discussed whether or not I would like to have had a straight orientation.  It was an interesting discussion, and I had some thoughts.

First, I realized that I value my whole self, and changing my orientation would change who I was.  I like who I am, and do not really want to be somebody else.
Even when I was young, I had this sense.  I may have regretted some of my choices or actions, and I may have pleaded to heaven to help me change, but I don't think I ever really wanted to change my orientation itself.

Second, I have had many blessings because of my orientation.  I hadn't really put it in words quite in this way before.  I really loved high school.  I think one of the factors that influenced this is that I never had dating drama.  Since I wasn't going to date guys, just girls, I was never really infatuated with my dates.  I never experienced the drama of being rejected by a crush, since the guys I had a crush on would never know about it.  In a way, it was liberating and I was able to enjoy the social aspect of school without all the drama I saw in my friends' lives.

Finally, some of the things my wife values in our relationship are byproducts of my orientation.  Some of the aspects of my dating life that were a direct result of being gay were some of the very things that attracted her to me and made us so compatible.  So my orientation contributed a great deal to the happy marriage that I have right now.

I realize that most of the gay Mormon bloggers seem to have had very different experiences in relation to their orientations.  And it's not like my growing-up period was all sunshine and lollipops or anything like that.  But when I look back in retrospect, I can see all these blessings due to my being gay.