Losing the Spirit

When I was growing up, I was repeatedly taught about how disobeying the commandments caused us to lose the spirit.
I had grown up very close to the spirit with many choice experiences and communications.  However, I was taught that homosexuality was evil.  I read a little bit about it in a couple books my parents had that were written by prominent members of the church, and what they said somewhat disturbed me, but the spirit still comforted me.  I never read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" but I implied otherwise sometimes.  I knew some of what was in it, and I didn't want to go there.

But back to my point, in retrospect, my attractions never scared away the spirit.  Most of my thoughts, my fears, my infatuations, things I thought made me unworthy never caused the spirit to depart.  I think that's one of the things that helped keep me strong during my formative years, and kept me happy and upbeat most of the time.  If what my leaders said was true, that disobedience caused us to lose the spirit, then maybe I wasn't being all that disobedient.

But I'm not perfect.  I know I fall into traps and sin.  I have lost the spirit before.  I recall very well what that feels like.  I have come to the conclusion that the spirit doesn't leave just because we are disobedient, but rather when we are rebellious.  That matches my experience better.