Americans have a very skewed sense of honesty. For example, there is this idea that it is better to be brutally honest than to hide behind lies. But I think that brutal honesty is usually an excuse to tell two lies along with a partial truth. Usually there is some kind of true statement somewhere in a brutally honest statement. However, the English language carries so much more information than the literal words. Connotations of our words flavor everything. So-called brutal honesty usually includes connotations that imply the subject is not as valuable as others. This is, of course, a lie. Also, brutally honest people infer that their viewpoint is superior to any others. This is a second lie, but one that the brutally honest people tend to want to believe, and want others to believe.
In the public discussion on homosexuality, "being true to yourself" also is often told as a partial truth with two lies. It says that we need to honestly acknowledge our characteristics, which is indeed true, but it also implies two untruths. First is the idea that an individual's characteristics determine their character. I love the way Joanne Rowling puts it when Dumbledore declares to Harry, "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." Our traits do not determine our selves. Second, is the idea that humans are static, that our "self" never changes. Growth and change are an absolutely essential part of reality. "Change is nature, Dad," explained Remy the rat in Ratatouille. "And it starts when we decide." All of us can be much more than we currently are. Any kind of acceptance of self that denies this is a lie.
We don't have to just accept who we are, we can decide who we are. While we don't get to choose most of our traits or characteristics, it is our own decisions that we make that determine our identities. Rather than being true to ourselves, perhaps we should honestly strive to be better than we currently are, while accepting that we aren't there yet.
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