Accepting Yourself

An interesting phenomenon is the concept of accepting yourself.  I understand what it is supposed to mean -- that we have to acknowledge our own limitations and not become discouraged because we are different from other people.

I know somebody who is naturally gifted at word play, and can compose beautiful poetry with ease, while I'm not that way.  I have to accept that it will take me much more work and time to get good at poetry, and that if this other person also puts forth effort to improve, I will likely never be as good a poet.  Refusing to berate myself for not being as good at poetry is accepting myself.  I'm okay with that.  However, believing that because I'm not as good at poetry, I'm a lesser person, or somehow incomplete; that's unhealthy.  But so is deciding that because someone else picks up poetry with ease while I struggle, that I'm just not good at poetry and should never write poetry.

How many people feel that they are just not a math person, or have two left feet, or can't carry a tune?  How many of us define ourselves by our supposed limitations?  That's not accepting yourself, but rather lying to yourself.  Everyone can learn math, or how to dance.  If tone deafness were real, there would be a sizable portion of Chinese people who couldn't speak.

So I watch with care when someone with a gay orientation "accepts himself" (or herself).  I wonder what they mean.  They might have the healthy mindset, where they accept that while they may be different, they refuse to berate themselves for it.  Or they might start defining themselves by limits -- the giving up of hopes and dreams because of feeling incapable of choosing their own destiny.

I look back at my life and realize how often I've defined myself by my limitations -- how my life could have been more enriched if I had just realized that I was far more capable than I believed myself to be.