Expectations

When my children have expectations, and those expectations are not fulfilled, there are problems.  Sometimes they get upset, angry, disappointed, or feel that they have been unfairly treated.  But often I think the problem is more in the expectations than the situation.

Everyone has expectations of all kinds.  I grew up with the expectation that I would serve a mission.  I was able to do that, so that expectation was fulfilled.  I had expectations about my occupation, and was able to work out that to fulfillment, too (actually, I lowered my expectations, and that didn't work out, and opportunities arose to meet the higher expectations).  I had expectations to be a father, to have my own kids.  I wondered if that one would ever be fulfilled because I was attracted to boys rather than girls.  I dated girls often, but that felt like hanging out with friends -- nothing romantic.  I again lowered my expectations -- thinking that I might just have to marry a girl who I had a tough time being romantic with.  And if that was the case, I was going to get schooling done first, including grad school, before I entered that situation.  But again, my lowered expectations were not what happened.  Rather, my higher expectations were met.  I love my amazing wife and we have a largish family.

So what am I trying to say?  Maybe we don't need to lower our expectations.  But also, it's not good to be too fixated on our expectations or it can lead to trouble, disappointment or frustration.