Who Defines Us?

Who gets to define us?  When Mark Twain wrote one of my favorite books, Roughing It, he described the Mormons in a very humorous way.  I thought it was very funny when I read it.  However, for a large number of people, this was the only description of Mormons that people had, and they believed him completely.  The whole book was satirical, and ridiculous things happened like a buffalo climbing a tree.  Most people didn't believe a word of it, except what he wrote about Mormons.

I think things like this are why church leaders have been very careful about the church's image.  Of course, some will see it as sweeping the dirt under the rug.  But the purpose of the leaders is primarily to define the church and what it stands for.  They are tired of letting others define it.

So what about gay-oriented Mormons?  I don't think the church has done a very good job of defining what that is like.  They have generally floundered about in the dark trying to figure out what was going on, generally allowing those who have left the church to define the experience.  This is pretty disturbing to those of us who haven't left the church.  It's one of the reasons I feel I have to stay hidden, I have to stay in the closet.  If I come out, I will be defined by those who left the church.  

It is difficult to communicate your own definition when others already have a different preconceived notion.