Love Those You Serve

I recall in the MTC, the president pointed out that there were surely those among us who were there because their girlfriend would only marry a returned missionary.  He pointed out that this was okay, as long as it led to missionary service, because by serving as a missionary, they would develop love for the people they served.  As missionaries sacrifice for others, they learn to love and value them.

Throughout my life I've found that to be true.  When we sacrifice for others, we develop strong love for them.  Parents sacrifice so much for their children, it's not surprising that parental love is often so very strong.  When I have opportunities to serve members of the ward, I really feel stronger love for them.

I think the same is true for spousal love.  True love is built on sacrificing for one another.  For many people, the initial reason to sacrifice is born of their infatuation for each other.  In cultures past, arranged marriages didn't necessarily have that infatuation, but couples would sacrifice for each other for cultural reasons, and in so doing would develop strong bonds of love for each other.

I think one of the reasons marriages often fail is that one or both of the spouses fail to truly sacrifice for the other.  When the infatuation wears thin, as it sometimes will, have they sacrificed and built the bonds of love that will carry them through?  If one partner expects to be repaid, so to speak, for what they've sacrificed, then it wasn't really a sacrifice, it was a bargain.  But two people willing to sacrifice for each other truly have the capability to develop a lasting and almost magical marriage.