Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Be True to Yourself

I cringe every time I hear this cliche.  It is supposed to mean we should be honest with ourselves, but it is usually intended to convey something subtly different.  It sounds to me like people often really mean to disregard inhibitions.  I agree that sometimes our inhibitions are not healthy, and cause us to be dishonest with ourselves.  But our inhibitions are also parts of ourselves that are very important.

A basic principle of art is that the negative space in a painting is just as important -- sometimes more important -- than the subject in the foreground.  Similarly, our inhibitions and ways we deny ourselves are an important part of our true selves.  I'm a somewhat impulsive person.  Those impulses that I entertain define me in many ways, but those that I choose to deny define me even more clearly.  If you see a man in his 50s that is trim and muscular, it is likely that the person exerts self control over impulses to overeat or laze around.  Care with the diet and regimented exercise are the only way to keep in such good shape into your 50s.  The person is defined by their sacrifices, the things they deny themselves.

When someone says to be true to yourself, what should you be true to?  Your impulses?  Your appetites?  Your indulgences?  Or perhaps your inhibitions?  Your sacrifices?  Your strength of will?

We all make choices to suppress some of our attributes and accentuate others.  The way we do this both expresses and shapes our values.  When our values change, so do these choices.  When our choices change, so do our values.  They are closely interrelated.  So I dislike it when people use the phrase "be true to yourself" to mean "change your values," when it should mean "be honest with yourself."

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