Communication

Communication is an interesting process.  I sometimes hear the opinion that "I'm only responsible for what I say, not what you understand."  It's true that some people read things into others' words that were not intended, and this can lead to problems in communication.  A person who takes offence at everything others say is the usual example that comes to mind.

But there is also a responsibility on the part of the speaker to use language that others are likely to understand.
If I do something that shows a lack of respect, it is my responsibility when others see it that way, and not theirs that they were offended by my communication.  This is somewhat hard for me, because I tend to be rather inattentive to social cues and am prone to accidentally commit a social faux pas.  Still, responsibility in all communication needs to be shared.

For example, visible tattoos and piercings communicate something about a person.  If it were a banker with these decorations, it communicates to me that the person might be too free a spirit to be trusted with my money.  So banks usually have rules about such things among their employees.  I know people who get all offended about such rules, but really they are not about restricting free expression so much as communicating to the public the reliability of the bank.

Rules of dress, grooming, and modesty in the church have a similar purpose.  The primary reason for these rules is to encourage us to communicate to others the respect and love we have for ourselves, others, and Christ.  Whether we like it or not, what we wear and how we decorate ourselves is a powerful method of communication.  Leaders of the church need to remember this too, as dress and grooming standards can become more important than their purpose, and lead to pharisaical nit-picking that discourages charity and drives away the spirit.

Let's just all try to be careful how we communicate.